woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Come on in and take your pants off
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