I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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