he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
