"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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