why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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