We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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