Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
