Apparently you make a good broom.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
