Dual....:-)
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize