I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize