I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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