Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
