You just made me feel so damn special
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
