The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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