i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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