Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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