"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
