if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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