my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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