He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
