I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
