who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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