Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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