since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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