No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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