But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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