If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Randomize
