If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
