There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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