I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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