I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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