It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I came so hard my ears popped.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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