I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
