Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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