haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
