we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize