return my video game
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
