Your tits are I can't wait for
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
