Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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