ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
