I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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