Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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