omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
