you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
