I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
