I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
