I hate all girls vehemently.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
