I just cut my nipple shaving
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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