this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
