I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
