Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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