If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
