I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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