he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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