The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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