im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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