she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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