WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
