I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
