Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so explain again why im purple
no
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
