i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
