Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
