Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
