margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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