paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize