shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
