Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize