Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Alive.
So much puke
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
