btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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