she was so not down for the gang bang
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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