I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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