I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
