So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
barbara walters just said penis...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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