My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize