I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize