Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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