Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
