I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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