i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
